


izaya's erotic adventure

by PrayingToJesus



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Blowjobs, Bro - Freeform, Exploring, Hooker AU, Incest, Shizaya - Freeform, brojobs, bullshit, hookers, izaya taking off his pants a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:48:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrayingToJesus/pseuds/PrayingToJesus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he going on advneture ok</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. start

**Author's Note:**

> more tags to be added l8r

Izaya was at a hooker place and he was gonna get some hookers… but he had no money so first he needed some money.


	2. god

Izaya then remembered that he was fucking rich or something so he went back to the stripper place and he was like "hello I am looking for a real good time" and all the strippers looked at him and said "oh my god you're so fucking hot want to get with me???" and Izaya replied "if you wanna get with me you gotta get nasty" and all the girls took off their clothes and ran at Izaya and Izaya was like "oh...." and they all got in his car and he was going to fucking party with them.


	3. fucking izaya

All the girls were in Izaya’s car and then Izaya like took out his knife ok and cut all of their arms off and shoved them up his ass and said “oh this feels nice” and all the girls were screaming because he cut off their fucking arms and he’s like “idgaf” and he just keeps them up his ass and he just fucking drives off and he doesn’t care.

Izaya just doesn’t care and they’re like dying in his car but he just doesn’t fucking care.


	4. shit bruh

Izaya eventually took the hands/limbs whatever out of his ass and then he ran into Shizuo while driving who he hit with the car and now Shizuo is chasing him down and Izaya got out of the car because fuck that shit and now he is running like so fucking fast.

Izaya then found the most sexiest tree and began to pull down his pants and stick his dick in the tree and fuck the tree.

Shizuo saw them and picked up the tree not knowing Izaya was attached to it and threw it.

Where would Izaya go now?


	5. one day

Izaya hit the floor

[let the bodies hit the floor,]

[let the boddies hit the floor]

[YEAAAAAAH]

ok but Izaya hit the floor.

"FUCK THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH," Izaya sobbed.

Shizuo had somehow gotten there so fast, so fast.

"IZAAAAYAAAAAA"

"Shizu-chan..... one day I will die and you won't be there :)" Izaya said.

"WHAT THE FUCJK?! OF COURSE I WILL, DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT...." Shizuo said.

"AW DO YOU LOVE ME? :)" Izaya said.

"hell to the fucking no."

"WELL," Izaya said.

Izaya dropped kicked Shizuo in the face and took off running.

izaya forgot he still had the hands in his asshole???

so Izaya shit out the hands at Shizuo and then he was gone....

izaya went to look for some more fun but would shizuo find him again?! (PROBABLY)


	6. fucko

IZAYA WAS SOMEWHERE DARK AND WET.... (probably the sewer where he fucking belongs) and he was swimming around and SHIT and then a krorokrodile came out and was like "wassup bro" except krorokidles can't talk so Izaya said "aw shit" and took out his knife and stabbed the krorodile and then all of a sudden the girls he killed came out of nowhere.... and they were ghosts and Izaya said "hello sexy gfs" and then it was really Shizuo he had found the girls and nobody knows why he still has them but he does.

"what the fuck did you do you shit stain?!" Shizuo yelled.

"I did a lot of things what do you want to know?" Izaya said with smile.

Shizuo got angry and started to get pissed off as douche fuck.

"uh... NO NO NONONONO" Izaya yelled as he ran out of the sewer not wanting to get fucked up.


	7. lil bitch izaya

so like somehow shizuo and izaya met up again and 

“REPRODUCTION” screamed Shizuo as he was butt fucking Izaya super hard.

“REPRODUCTIONNNNNN…….” Screamed Shizuo as he rammed it in so hard like a fucking truck.

“Yep” Izaya said as he moaned and moaned again and Shizuo yelled again “REPRODUCTIONNNN” as his cock was grinding into Izaya’s ass like a drill and it was making drill fucking noises because Shizuo’s penis is fucking savage. 

why the fuck were they fucking, fucking?

Izaya then ran out there like a lil bitch cause he is afraid of commitment.


	8. gingerbread man

izaya ran, ran as fast as he can but they can't catch him because he's the afraid of commitment man.

izaya was back home and he had severed arms sticking out of his poop shoot and Namie's like "izaya where the fuck are your pants?"

"what the fuck," said Izaya.

"where are your pants???" Namie asked again.

"you're not my mom namie, you don't control my life, GOD I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN," Izaya screamed and ran into the next room.

"what the fuck just happened?" said Namie.

Izaya sat in his room as he removed the severed arms from his asshole.


	9. no bed izaya

Izaya was sleeping in his FUCKING bed when Shizuo broke the fuck in and said "FUCK YOU, YOU DONT DESERVE A BED YOU PIECE OF SHIT"

Izaya rubbed his sleepy ass eyes. "oh... uhm ok... Shizuo... I was trying to sleep but ok... WAIT HOLY SHIT SHIZUO WAIT TILL I GET OUT OF THE BED SHIZUO FUCKCKCUFKC" Izaya screamed as Shizuo threw the bed out the window.

"Goodnight you piece of shit!!" Shizuo screamed as he left Izaya's apartment.

Izaya fell down out the fucking window but it was ok because his bed saved his ass.

"thanks bed.... what the fuck is wrong with Shizuo lately."

Izaya wanted to find out about that so he would.


	10. falling shizuo

Izaya was following Shizuo around like a stalker a little bit but not.

"what the fuck is wrong with him" said Izaya as he noticed Shizuo drinking milk like a normal man.

"what the fuck is wrong with him???" Izaya said again.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" yelled Izaya to loud.

"IZAAAAYAAAAAAAA" Shizuo screamed

Izaya gasped and said "NONONO SHIZUO WAIT FUCK I JUST WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THROW ME OUT OF MY BED :("

"Cause you don't deserve a bed!"

Izaya was in awe, that was so simple....

"but... Shizuo I know something is bothering you... tell me please???" Izaya asked nicely.

"what the fuck who are you?" said Shizuo as he is confused by Izaya being nice.

"I care Shizuo!" Izaya yelled.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU AN ALIEN? WHAT THE FUCK WHERE IS MY IZAYA?" Shizuo yelled angrily.

"aw babe cares about m e...." Izaya whispered.

"WHAT THE FUCKFUC WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK" Shizuo screamed as he tried to pick up Izaya and throw him but Izaya was too fast and slipped inside Shizuo's shirt.

"OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY BODY WHAT THE FUCK" screamed Shizuo.

"you got some nice nipples...."

Izaya was admiring them but Shizuo was flipping the fuck out cause he was getitng hard?? why was he getting hardd???

"AAAAHHH AHAHHHAH AHHHHHHH WHAT IS THAT?!" screamed Shizuo at his boner.


	11. the fucker

Izaya was like at his house now because he had some SHIT to DO... and some lil bitch calls him up and asks "can you do me a favor?" Izaya didn't have time for this BULLSHIT, Izaya was too fucking busy! He didn't have time for some lil bitch whining about how everyone was hurting him because Izaya sees ALL, ALL. Izaya knows this guy is just some drunk guy, like fuck him he has Shizuo to deal with like da fuck? Shizuo destroyed his bed so of COURSE he has to lay the smack down on Shizuo like calm down Shizu-butts! Izaya is so cool, so cool. Izaya then plans to destroy Shizuo, yay!


	12. brojob me bro

Izaya had kidnapped Shizuo and Kasuka and was holding them at gun point. 

"What the fuck Izaya?!" Shizuo was so angry because what the fuck why did Izaya fucking kidnap him and his little brother? 

"Fuck me? No, fuck you!" Izaya yelled and instructed Shizuo to strip. 

"DUDE IS THIS CAUSE I THREW YOU OUT OF YOUR BED?!" 

Izaya's eye twitched. 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIL BITCH, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES I SWEAR TO GOD!"

Kasuka just stared "this is not needed, please, calm down." 

Izaya blinked "fucking strip too slut." This Izaya was scary. 

"Imm not going to do that!" Shizuo yelled. 

"Ok" said Izaya as he came over there and cut Shizuo's clothes off and then he looked at Kasuka. "You gonna do this nicely?" Kasuka nodded and stripped. 

"Ok now suck your brother's dick." Shizuo's eyes bulged out "FUCKING NO WAY! NO WAY! FUCK YOU!" Izaya fired the gun into Shizuo's leg. "Did I fucking stutter?" Izaya said as he snapped his fingers. "Nii-san please..." Kasuka begged. "NO NO! I WON'T!" Kasuka cringed when another bullet was shot at Shizuo. "Brother please!" Kasuka begged. "I-I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU, JUST, FUCKING IZAYA, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Izaya slowly took off his pants. Then Namie came in "Izaya I got the papers... OH WHAT THE FUCK?! AGAIN REALLY? PUT YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON." Izaya cried as he looked at Namie. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?! I JUST WANNA MASTURBATE TO SHIZU-CHAN FUCKING SUCKING HIS BROTHER'S FUCKING DICK!" Namie was horrified. "Izaya, Izaya, what the fuck?" Namie said. "MMM...I'M SORRY MOM," Izaya said as he looked at Namie. "I'M SORRY I CAN'T PLEASE YOU." Namie sighed and left the room. "Thank god." Shizuo sighed and looked at Kasuka. 

"Fucking FUCK I will do it!" Izaya yelled as he unzipped Kasuka and started sucking his dick. "GET OFF HIM FLEA! I'll BEAT YOUR ASS!" Izaya ignored. "Uhhh..." Kasuka didn't even react. "SHIZUO THEN YOU DO IT LIKE I ASKED!" Shizuo gasped "UGHHHH fine FUCK!" and he took his brother's dick in his hand and started sucking and Kasuka was emotionless like always but he had a disgusted look on his face and he began to cry a little. Izaya nodded and took a picture "nice".

This would be used for later blackmail and getting off material. "LOL BYE," said Izaya as he threw Shizuo and Kasuka out of his god damn apartment. Namie came back "IZAYA REALLY?! THERESCUM EVERYWHERE!" Izaya started crying. "Why don't you respect my life choices Namie?!" Namie facepalmed and left the room. Izaya sat therre admiring the cum.


	13. HOME FUCK

Shizuo was at his house now and sat there like what the fuck. "Kasuka are you ok?" Kasuka nodded "yeah." Shizuo looked at Kasuka like he needed to look at Kasuka. "I am!" Shizuo kept looking. "You can tell me, I know it was traumatizing, I..." and Kasuka shook his head. "It's fine I didn't feel a thing." This kind of pissed Shizuo off a little. "YOU SAYING I'M SMALL?!" Kasuka blinked "no" Shizuo backed up "sorry nvm! I'm going to uh some place else." Shizuo ran out of the room crying. "what is wrong with my brother?" Kasuka did not know.


	14. PANTS PANTS

Izaya couldn't believe he did that actually he could but did he fucking care?! NO!

Shizuo deserved it.

Maybe.

Probably!

Izaya had to admit, Kasuka was hot.

Kasuka was so FUCKING hot!!

Izaya would bang him but he scared him away.

Izaya noted that he had some issues and started taking off his pants again when Namie came in "IS THIS A REGULAR THING WITH YOU?!?!"

"I WASN'T GOING TO MASTURBATE DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT NAMIE@!@!!!!"

Namie got tired of this shit.

"You're coming with me."

Izaya stared.

"WHAT TBEH FUCK YOURE NOT MY MOM!!!!!"

Namie took Izaya anyway.

Where the fuck were they going?


	15. goodbye gay earth

"I'M GOING TO SHOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MAN!" Namie yelled.

"what do you mean."

Namie grabbed Izaya's penis and ripped it off his fucking body and he started screaming.

"I'm taking all your fucking pants now."

Izaya screamed "NAMIE NO!!!! WTF WE CAN WORK THIS OUT DON'T TAKE MY FUCKING PANTS. FUCK OFF NAMIE, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOM YOU BITCH!!!"

Izaya screamed and grabbed his penis and ran away.

Where the fuck was Izaya going now??


	16. random extra scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk

Kasuka had to act, had to act like he wasn't kissing his brother because if he didn't he wouldn't be able to do this. "N-nii-san..." Kasuka panted out of breath and Shizuo looked at him and whispered "I'm sorry, I love you." Shizuo didn't want to be doing this either but to save Kasuka he would. Held at gun point, they kissed, they were filmed and it was marketed as "The incest lovers!!" Izaya bought all the copies because he was an incest loving FUCK. Except for his sisters they scared him, fuck his sisters but not in that way.


	17. family

Izaya was back at home now and Namie was doing her normal shit that she always did and Izaya was typing away at his computer when he suddenly started taking off his pants again and Namie said "hey izaya I got the....IZAYA I SWEAR TO GOD KEEP YOUR PANTS ON I AM TIRED OF THIS." 

Izaya then screamed.

"NAMIE WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME???!!! I JUSTWANTED TO WATCH SOME FUCKING PORN LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE??" Izaya screamed.

"ok izaya but you're at work right now and I don't want to deal with this bullshit."

Izaya nodded.

"oh ok."

"also ur sisters are here thats why jesus fucking christ put your fucking pants on."

Izaya blinked "IT'S OK THEY DONT MIND NAMIE GOD."

"Izaya what the fuck. you know what I don't care."

It was Izaya's funeral.

Izaya's sisters were fucking weird sometimes.

They were into each other.

They'd probably do Izaya no doubt.

Namie licked her lips "MMMMMMMMMM I LOVE SEIJI" she said thinking about all the times they bathed together.

Izaya was alone ripping off his pants when the door swung open.

"OH FUCK" Izaya screamed.


	18. namie nasty

"NII-SAMA," screamed izaya's sisters.

"whatte thfuck what the fuck what the fuck, hey," Izaya said as he had no pants on.

"Nii-sama your pants are off," said his sisters.

 

"YEAH WHAT IS MY APARTMENT THE FUCKING PANTS POLICE???? CAN'T A MAN HAVE HIS PANTS OFF AND LIVE IN PEACE?" Izaya screamed and flailed his arms.

"CAN'T I BE A PANTLESS MAN WITHOUT BEING JUDGED???" Izaya said.

"no, nii-sama, you can't," said his sisters.

"BULLSHIT," Izaya said as he slammed his fist on the table and jumped out the window.

"NII-SAMA."

 

"I'M PANTLES SMAN NOW FUCK OFF," Izaya screamed and ran away.

"namie-san, izaya is fucking weird today," said izaya's sisters.

"yea, he's fucking weird," Namie said agreeing.

Namie sniffed Seiji's picture.

she was not weird at all.


	19. shit bitch

Izaya was running down the fucking steeet whnen he saw bitch ass, other hims??

He saw some red eyed motherfucker.

Some pink eyed motherfucker. (Not the crusty ass kind. he just has bitch ass pink eyes)

Some yellow wearing motherfucker.

Some fucked up motherfucker.

"Who the fuck are you," said Izaya.

"Sup, I'm...."

"I DONT FUCKING CARE WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME, FUCK OFF IM PANTLESS MAN RIGHT NOW???" Izaya screamed.

"uhmmm, why do you look like us waaa?" Psyche said.

"Why do you look like an uwu bitch?" Izaya asked.

"excuse me???" Psyche said.

"YOU ARE AN UWU BITCH, FUCK YOU," Izaya screamed.

"mister please calm down..." hibiya said.

"FUCK OFF, IM PANTLES SMAN !!! IM PAN TELSSS MAN!!! FUCK YOU!! I HATE YOU."

Izaya ran away.

What the fick are these other people doing looking like him?

The fucked up motherfucker was eating a nearby hobo.

"Virus138, that's not ok," said Psyche.

"RAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSADJFGSDJFGSGHDF" responded Virus138 in the only way he knew how.

"uhm,... ok have fun,, hahaha..." Psyche ran away like little bitch.

Oh no, what is this? How will Izaya fix this bullshit?


End file.
